An Autistic Social Issue: Dismissal and Disrespect

November 1st is Autistics Speaking day. Please listen to us and speak with us.

I dislike dismissive and disrespectful behavior. I feel disrespected when someone acts like they are too busy to talk, and they barely speak with me. Then, when a Neurotypical (NT) person shows up, they have a lively conversation with that person. It is as if they don’t think that I will notice the difference in their attitude toward me (the Autistic guy) and the NT person. It is as if they think that I am not paying attention or they bought into the incorrect stereotype that “I am in my own little world.” I have news for those people, I notice much more than they think.

Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. It is ignorant for people to treat other people as lesser beings or less than themselves. Usually, truly smart people understand that they don’t know everything and that they have a lot to learn about life and others. They don’t parade around an attitude of smug superiority. They don’t dismiss and disrespect other people. We are all human. We all deserve respect and dignity. Unless, of course, someone unapologetically mistreats other people, then they forfeit that right. Rude, hurtful people forfeit the right to receive our respect.

We need more Autism Acceptance. We really need more acceptance for all people with disabilities and/or differences. We need people to treat us all as equals. We may be different, but different is not “defective.” Different is not “wrong.” Different is not “less.” Our differences do not excuse dismissive or rude behavior by others. We deserve the same respect as anyone else.

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Photo quote: Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are. ~ Author Unknown

Categories: Abuse Stories, Autism | Tags: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Myth: All Autistics are Emotionless

I am personally busting the Autism myth that Autistic people don’t have emotions.

Even though many of us do prefer things to be logical, we are not all like emotionless robots.

My wife can vouch that underneath my crusty exterior there is a warm heart.

I can be a softy at times.

Shhh, Don’t tell anyone.  😉

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Categories: Autism | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

Prosopagnosia: Face Blindness in Action.

Face blindness in action. —

Yesterday, while I was checking my Post Office Box for mail, a lady came up to me, said “Hi” and started talking to me. I was frantically mentally scrambling to figure out, “Who is this woman who is standing right in front of me talking like she knows me? ” Eventually, she asked me if the lawn had been mowed at my landlord’s place next door to me. Finally, I figured out that she is the landlord’s friend who helps with painting and landscaping. I had been at work, so I told her that I didn’t know if the yard had been mowed yet. I told her that it was nice to see her again and we parted ways. I never did remember her name, nor did I address her by name.

This is what it is like for me to have Prosopagnosia (face blindness) issues. Sometimes I find my brain in a virtual whirlwind of frantic thinking, trying desperately to figure out who i am talking to and where I know them from. It is not really a pleasant thing and all the while I try to keep smiling and talking so they do not get offended by my initial lack of recognition of them.

I smile and am friendly to people that I meet, but, sometimes, my lack of immediate recognition seems to offend people. It is not an intentional slight or insult. It is something that I struggle with. Please understand that an enormous amount of brain processing is happening behind the scenes when I meet up with someone at an unexpected location or time. If I look confused, do not get offended. I am trying very hard to pick up on the clues that I need to decipher your identity. Please excuse me if you see a look of confusion on my face when we meet. It helps if you say something that reminds me of how we know each other or where we usually see each other.

“Face blindness (prosopagnosia) is common among people with autism spectrum disorders.” 

Categories: Autism | Tags: , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Myth: All Autistics are Happy Being Loners

I am Autistic. I am not a good social self-starter.

People sometimes tell me, “We should get together for a visit.” or something similar, and I will say, “Yes, that would be nice.” Then months, or even years, go by with me waiting to see them. I don’t understand why things often don’t get beyond that first offer to get together. I guess they may be waiting for me to make some plans at that point?

“The hallmark feature of ASD is impaired social interaction.”

I have a social disability. So, I am not often going to make the social plans and invite people to do things. This doesn’t mean that I don’t want to visit or do things with people. I do enjoy other people. It is just not likely that I will make the first move, or sometimes even the second move.

I don’t readily understand the idea of a “social scoreboard” where people seem to keep track of who’s turn it is to make the social plans.

When in doubt, about me, please ask me rather than assuming that I am happy spending most of my time alone. I do enjoy my friends and want to do things with them.

All Autistics are not “loners” by choice. Many of us want to enjoy time with friends but don’t get included as often as we would like. Please consider these things and remember that most of us can be great friends if you give us the chance.

Categories: Autism | Tags: , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Aloha Photos

Please check out the “Aloha Photos” side-bar on the right.

I have spend some time uploading a bunch of my photos for you to enjoy. Take a look and let me know what you think of them. I have lots more. If you want me to upload some more photos, let me know.

Aloha

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Categories: Photography | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Autism Acceptance and Neurodiversity for All of Us

“Autism Acceptance needs to be unconditional. In other words, diversity needs to be inclusive.” ~ Steve Summers

Thank you to Tim Villegas of Think Inclusive for sharing my thoughts on Autism Acceptance.

Read my guest post on Think Inclusive here: Autism Acceptance and Neurodiversity for All of Us.

Categories: Autism | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment

10 Tips on How to Communicate with Autistic People

Go check out the wonderful blog, Autismum. I have some guest posts hosted over there from before I began my own blog. This ’10 Tips’ blog post is one that has been very popular. Go check out the other posts as well on Autismum.com. Lot’s of great reading there! ❤

Autismum

Guest Post by Steve Summers*

View original post 837 more words

Categories: Autism | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

You are Not Alone

If you were physically, mentally, or emotionally abused because of being “different” from the “typical” child, you are not alone. Even before receiving any diagnosis, many autistic children have suffered very much due to being pressured to try and behave more like “normal” children.

Neurobigotry against anyone who deviates from the “norm” is all too common. Too many suffer from being shamed and bullied for their differences. It is wrong to make a person feel bad for being themselves.

I have been having some very enlightening conversations via private messages with other Autistic Adults. It seems that many have suffered in silence for many years over the non-acceptance that they suffered while growing up. Many suffered at the hands of parents, carers, teachers, bullies, etc. and have not spoken out about this because of social pressure to show respect to authority figures.

It is time for this silence to end. It is time for you to know that you are NOT alone. Many of us have stories that we have kept locked away. Please know that you are not alone. I know this from some people sharing openly and others sharing privately. It is good to know that you are not alone and you are not wrong for being yourselves. It is time for Autistic people to come out and say that enough is enough. We will be silent about our abusers no longer. We are Autistic and we are proud to be ourselves.

I feel that this quote is very empowering for anyone who has been afraid to tell their story for whatever reason.

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.” – Anne Lamott

If anyone would like to send me stories to share here anonymously, they can PM me and I will share their stories. without naming them.

I repeat, you are not alone.  There are many just like you out there. 

Categories: Abuse Stories, Autism | Tags: , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Getting Started

Aloha,

Welcome to my new blog, Autistic Aloha.

Please be patient with me as I learn about the ins and outs of blogging.

I will be reposting some of my previous pieces here, as well as some new ones.

I will also throw in some of my amateur photography from time to time as well.

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Aloha

Categories: Autism, Photography | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

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