Posts Tagged With: Neurobigotry

Unconditional Acceptance

Q: Unconditional Acceptance, what is that?

A: The answer for me: accepting others as they are, without putting preconditions on that acceptance.

I see way too many people who seem to love criticizing and ridiculing other people because they are different from themselves, or because they make different choices for their clothing, style, beliefs, etc.

I am personally working on unconditionally accepting other people. (This doesn’t include toxic or abusive people. Bullies don’t get a free pass from me.)

If a person decides to have green hair and it makes them happy, why would someone else make fun of them for that choice? It is not your place to try to force anyone else to conform to your desires, is it? Leave them alone and let them be happy. It is none of your concern.

Another example would be tattoos. Some people ridicule, condemn, and judge people who have tattoos. Why? Tattoos have been around longer than any living person on this planet. If someone chooses to get a tattoo what business is it of yours? If it makes them happy then that is what matters. I have even seen people with one style of tattoo making fun of other styles of tattoos. Why do that? It is a form of judgment and oppression to be so negative and critical of other people. Does it make things better for anyone to do that? No it does not.

Another big example are attitudes towards disabilities. Too many people are ableist bigots. They only value able-bodied people and put down those with visible or invisible disabilities. Why do that? It is wrong. Think about this – if you currently don’t have any kind of disability, you are very most likely only temporarily fully able-bodied. At some point in your life you are very likely to become temporarily or permanently disabled to some degree. Nothing is guaranteed in life except change. Things change. Change is something that happens to everyone. Someday you might be one of those disabled people whom you look down on now.

There are plenty of other examples. I don’t need to list them all.

Try to be accepting that other people are not all just like you. They have the right to make their own choices in life. If you are spreading misery and hate then you are making the world a worse place for everyone. Try to spread love and kindness. Try, at the very least, to avoid being a bully who makes fun of other people. Try to make the world a kinder and more accepting place for all people.

Don’t be the prick that pops other people’s bubbles of happiness.

Be someone who helps to make others to smile. Try to make people happier for having you around them.

Thank you.

Categories: Abuse Stories, Autism, Epilepsy | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Autistic Aloha Comment Moderation

Here is a hint for people commenting on my blog, ‘Autistic Aloha.’ If your comment is: vilifying Autism; talking about a non-existent Autism “epidemic;” blaming Autism on anti-vaccine rubbish; calling Autistics a “burden,” “tragedy,” “damaged,” etc; or talking about a non-existent “Big Pharma Conspiracy;” I will not allow it.

I am all about Autism Acceptance. It’s MY blog and I don’t have to let harmful, hurtful, or damaging comments on MY blog. Those negative types of comments won’t make it past moderation.

Thank you to all the thoughtful, supportive, and Autism accepting commenters who add value by posting good comments to my blog.

Categories: Abuse Stories, Autism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Judgment and Oppression vs Love and Acceptance

Yesterday, a family member called to wish our son a Happy Birthday. As far as I can tell, that part of the phone call went well. However, after the phone was handed back to me an old familiar thing happened. I was told how I needed to do something differently than I am. I was subjected to the same old disapproval that I have been suffering from my whole life. I was given unwanted/unrequested criticism, correction and advice.

I have lived with shaming and disapproval for my “different” behavior my entire life. I am a mess of mental and emotional wounds and scars. This is the legacy of a childhood of being constantly shamed and punished for being an undiagnosed Autistic, an atypical undiagnosed child.

Unwanted “advice” always takes away my comfort. It is like ripping open an old wound or sticking a knife into one of them. Despite the clear boundaries that I have tried to put in place, this “loved one” once again triggered feelings of never being “good enough” for them. There I was enjoying my son’s birthday and bam! here comes anxiety from disapproval and oppression by a loved one.

I don’t want or need constant criticism, correction and disapproval from a “loved one” who spent so much time hurting me as they tried to make me more “normal.” I am really so done with putting up with that kind of treatment. Somehow, they even try to turn this around and make it a matter of my need to “forgive” them. I really don’t understand how someone who has treated me wrongly can demand that I “forgive all” without ever actually apologizing for this continuing emotional manipulation and abuse.

I am trying very hard to reduce the stress and anxiety in my life. This person never fails to induce bad feelings, anxiety and stress with their never-ending criticisms and disapproval. I really feel like I am under attack. I need to avoid this toxic oppression of my self-confidence and self-esteem.

I used to share “Don’t judge me” memes but now I think that we need some new memes that say “Don’t oppress me!”

I want unconditional love and acceptance. I don’t want constant criticism, emotional manipulation, and abuse. Is that so hard? I think that many Autistic people will agree with me on this. Love and Acceptance is what we need.

Categories: Abuse Stories, Autism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Autistic Loner, Not by My Choice.

I have always been pretty quiet around people that I don’t know or barely know. Once I become comfortable with someone, I often open up with them. In fact, many times, the floodgates open and I attempt to tell them all about myself. I tell my life story to them. That’s when most of them decide to vacate and fade out of my life. I have no understanding why showing that I trust them enough to share my story with them runs them off, but it usually does.

My entire life I have usually only had one or two friends at a time. I am in my 50s now and it is still like this. I like people and I try very hard to be polite and a nice person. It doesn’t seem to matter. Because I look at people in the mouth instead of in the eyes, and other so called “quirks” of being Autistic, I am most often rejected. This is part of my story and the story of many others just like me.

And yet, people can’t understand why Autistic Adults are calling for more than simple Autism Awareness, we want Autism Acceptance. We don’t want to be rejected, shunned and excluded for being Autistic; for being “different.” We want to be welcomed and accepted, just the way we are, Autistic. We are not that much different that we can’t be good friends. Please give us a chance. We are loyal and good people. We are Autistic. Autistic is alright. It really is.

Categories: Abuse Stories, Autism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

I am Openly Autistic! I am NOT ashamed to be Autistic!

I am annoyed with people who ignore and/or reject me because I am Openly Autistic.

I am annoyed with people who believe in keeping things like Autism hidden away because they believe in a shame-based mentality of keeping anything “out of the ordinary” deeply hidden away from public view. That attitude is wrong! There is NO shame in being who you were born to be. Anyone who tries to shame someone for being their own, unique, self is WRONG! 

I actually have some family members, and former friends, who are no longer on my Facebook friends list because they do not practice Autism Acceptance. 😦 

I am not going to put up with being condemned, judged, or shamed, by anyone for being Openly Autistic. I am going to be myself. I am who I am. I will not put on a fake mask of pretend “neurotypicality” to hide my Autism for the comfort of any neuro-bigot. If you cannot accept the real, true, me then I will not allow you to try and put me into a place of rejection and shame with your ignorance/bigotry! You do NOT get to do that to me and you do not get to do that to my sons. No you don’t! 

Neuro-bigots don’t want to practice Autism Acceptance. In fact, they want to put Autism back into their box of “shame” and keep on hiding it away. They want to make us hide our Autism and become indistinguishable from so-called “normal” people. They only accept people who can pass for “normal,” anything less and they reject it. Shame on them! We don’t need that bigoted attitude.

I won’t stop being Openly Autistic because other Autistics, like my son, deserve to have a better, more accepting world than the rigid, non-accepting one I had to grow up in! We need to be accepted as we are — Openly Autistic! We need Autism Acceptance! There is no shame in being true to yourself!

Live your truth

“Let me tell you something. Live your truth right out in the open. No hiding or apologizing for who you are. What do you have to lose — the good opinion of others? Believe me, they have no idea how to do life. And if they are looking at you at all when you’re busy living your truth, it is probably with a mixture of curiosity and admiration for the boldness they can’t muster.” ~ Jacome Nordby
Photo Link: http://101waystoloveyourjob.blogspot.com/2013/11/some-motivational-posters-for-work.html

Categories: Abuse Stories, Autism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

You are Not Alone

If you were physically, mentally, or emotionally abused because of being “different” from the “typical” child, you are not alone. Even before receiving any diagnosis, many autistic children have suffered very much due to being pressured to try and behave more like “normal” children.

Neurobigotry against anyone who deviates from the “norm” is all too common. Too many suffer from being shamed and bullied for their differences. It is wrong to make a person feel bad for being themselves.

I have been having some very enlightening conversations via private messages with other Autistic Adults. It seems that many have suffered in silence for many years over the non-acceptance that they suffered while growing up. Many suffered at the hands of parents, carers, teachers, bullies, etc. and have not spoken out about this because of social pressure to show respect to authority figures.

It is time for this silence to end. It is time for you to know that you are NOT alone. Many of us have stories that we have kept locked away. Please know that you are not alone. I know this from some people sharing openly and others sharing privately. It is good to know that you are not alone and you are not wrong for being yourselves. It is time for Autistic people to come out and say that enough is enough. We will be silent about our abusers no longer. We are Autistic and we are proud to be ourselves.

I feel that this quote is very empowering for anyone who has been afraid to tell their story for whatever reason.

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.” – Anne Lamott

If anyone would like to send me stories to share here anonymously, they can PM me and I will share their stories. without naming them.

I repeat, you are not alone.  There are many just like you out there. 

Categories: Abuse Stories, Autism | Tags: , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Blog at WordPress.com.

Everyday Aspie

Relationships through the eyes of an autistic

The Vaccine Blog

Karen Ernst

Walkin' on the edge

Acceptance, inclusion, and the day to day journey of a family and their Autistic Child in the Neuro-typical (NT) world.

Naked Security

Computer Security News, Advice and Research

Rock the Gear

All the Gear, Every Time You Ride

autisticality

Writer, knitter, 22-year-old autistic nonbinary human.

Echoes of Mermaids

* A Life Lived Through an Autistic Lens on a playground of colliding worlds

Roses are Red for Autism

Life is beautiful the autistic way

Psychopath Resistance

Learn how to recognize them. Then you can resist them.

PWN-USA

Positive Women's Network - United States of America

After Narcissistic Abuse

There is Light, Life & Love

Hawai'i Forward

Progressive Hawai'i

Dancing in the OR

Life and Love in the Trauma Unit

hope for autistics

Creating blessed opportunities for autistics

Dr. Craig Childress: Attachment Based "Parental Alienation" (AB-PA)

A Scientifically Based Model of "Parental Alienation"

Proudly Sensitive

Past and Passages of a Sensitive Boy

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

The Neurotropes Blog

An Autistic Dad Sharing Aloha and Advocating for a Better, More Accepting World for my Son and Autistics Everywhere.

The Invisible Scar

raising awareness of emotional child abuse, its effects on adult survivors & the power of words on children

Your Lighter Side

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Gluten-Free, Sugar-Free, Low-Carb, Atkins, Diabetic, Ketogenic Healthy Eating

modifiedmom.com

the adventures of a MAD mom

Light It Up True

Shining light on the truth about autism

Apollina 64/10

Rasmussen's Encephalitis from a Patient's Point-of-View

dkmnow

David K. March And The Sociopolitical Blog Of Doom

Poor as Folk

A resource for people who need to feed themselves and live with little money. Also examining the political & social climate regarding poverty and hunger

Eccentricities and Introspection

An Autistic Dad Sharing Aloha and Advocating for a Better, More Accepting World for my Son and Autistics Everywhere.

tomplastow

Social commentary blog from a Libertarian Socialist.

Aspergers: Through My Eyes

An honest account of my life on the spectrum!

Lovingthebigisland's Weblog

Putting the Magic of Hawaii at Your Fingertips...

Everyday Asperger's

Life through the eyes of a female with Aspergers

My Search for a Diagnosis

Aspe writer sharing his thoughts

S.R. Salas

An Autistic Dad Sharing Aloha and Advocating for a Better, More Accepting World for my Son and Autistics Everywhere.

An Autistic Dad Sharing Aloha and Advocating for a Better, More Accepting World for my Son and Autistics Everywhere.

...autisticook

Because life is in the details

Blogging Astrid

A Dutch Woman Blogs in English

The Caffeinated Autistic

Neurodivergence, queer things, and fandom