Posts Tagged With: Pride

Autistic Social Skills: Cut me Some Slack Please

Why, as an Autistic person, do I find myself spending an inordinate amount of my time and thought processing on trying to making sure that I don’t “offend” anyone, when nearly nobody cares one bit if they offend me? What is up with that?

I am always second-guessing the things that I say, or write, to be sure that they are not going to offend anyone. I find that most other people don’t give a darn if they offend me. They do whatever they want without giving it even a passing thought. This is a serious unbalance of social consideration.

Since I have a DIAGNOSED CONDITION, that has a core feature of having difficulty with social situations, I should be given the benefit of the doubt when I am trying to communicate with other people. They should be looking at ways of helping me to get my message across instead of nit-picking my word choices.

Nobody is perfect, but it seems like people demand perfection from me when they are dealing with an area that I am diagnosed to have difficulty. Why then do they seem to DEMAND perfection from me when they don’t seem to care if they, themselves, offend anyone? What is up with this double-standard way of thinking about things?

No wonder so many Autistic people get frustrated with the world at large. You demand social perfection from Autistic people that most of you donʻt bother to even try to attain in your own social interactions. It is really unbalanced. It is just plain unfair and wrong for you to demand perfection from us when you donʻt seem to care to provide the same considerations to us!

Disrespectful and rude people are telling you all about themselves by the way they treat others. You donʻt need to allow them to bring you down. They are showing themselves to have a problem that you donʻt need to take on as your own problem.

I am going to keep on trying my best to be considerate and kind to others. I am going to keep on trying to Live Aloha! Living Aloha makes the world a better place for all of us! 

Here is my friend Paul Leo Klink speaking about the meaning of “Live Aloha” as well as other positive motivational things about the good that the attitude of Living Aloha does for everyone. – www.LiveAloha.org

Aloha

Aloha

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Categories: Autism, Social Skills | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Autistic Loner, Not by My Choice.

I have always been pretty quiet around people that I don’t know or barely know. Once I become comfortable with someone, I often open up with them. In fact, many times, the floodgates open and I attempt to tell them all about myself. I tell my life story to them. That’s when most of them decide to vacate and fade out of my life. I have no understanding why showing that I trust them enough to share my story with them runs them off, but it usually does.

My entire life I have usually only had one or two friends at a time. I am in my 50s now and it is still like this. I like people and I try very hard to be polite and a nice person. It doesn’t seem to matter. Because I look at people in the mouth instead of in the eyes, and other so called “quirks” of being Autistic, I am most often rejected. This is part of my story and the story of many others just like me.

And yet, people can’t understand why Autistic Adults are calling for more than simple Autism Awareness, we want Autism Acceptance. We don’t want to be rejected, shunned and excluded for being Autistic; for being “different.” We want to be welcomed and accepted, just the way we are, Autistic. We are not that much different that we can’t be good friends. Please give us a chance. We are loyal and good people. We are Autistic. Autistic is alright. It really is.

Categories: Abuse Stories, Autism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

I am Openly Autistic! I am NOT ashamed to be Autistic!

I am annoyed with people who ignore and/or reject me because I am Openly Autistic.

I am annoyed with people who believe in keeping things like Autism hidden away because they believe in a shame-based mentality of keeping anything “out of the ordinary” deeply hidden away from public view. That attitude is wrong! There is NO shame in being who you were born to be. Anyone who tries to shame someone for being their own, unique, self is WRONG! 

I actually have some family members, and former friends, who are no longer on my Facebook friends list because they do not practice Autism Acceptance. 😦 

I am not going to put up with being condemned, judged, or shamed, by anyone for being Openly Autistic. I am going to be myself. I am who I am. I will not put on a fake mask of pretend “neurotypicality” to hide my Autism for the comfort of any neuro-bigot. If you cannot accept the real, true, me then I will not allow you to try and put me into a place of rejection and shame with your ignorance/bigotry! You do NOT get to do that to me and you do not get to do that to my sons. No you don’t! 

Neuro-bigots don’t want to practice Autism Acceptance. In fact, they want to put Autism back into their box of “shame” and keep on hiding it away. They want to make us hide our Autism and become indistinguishable from so-called “normal” people. They only accept people who can pass for “normal,” anything less and they reject it. Shame on them! We don’t need that bigoted attitude.

I won’t stop being Openly Autistic because other Autistics, like my son, deserve to have a better, more accepting world than the rigid, non-accepting one I had to grow up in! We need to be accepted as we are — Openly Autistic! We need Autism Acceptance! There is no shame in being true to yourself!

Live your truth

“Let me tell you something. Live your truth right out in the open. No hiding or apologizing for who you are. What do you have to lose — the good opinion of others? Believe me, they have no idea how to do life. And if they are looking at you at all when you’re busy living your truth, it is probably with a mixture of curiosity and admiration for the boldness they can’t muster.” ~ Jacome Nordby
Photo Link: http://101waystoloveyourjob.blogspot.com/2013/11/some-motivational-posters-for-work.html

Categories: Abuse Stories, Autism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

You are Not Alone

If you were physically, mentally, or emotionally abused because of being “different” from the “typical” child, you are not alone. Even before receiving any diagnosis, many autistic children have suffered very much due to being pressured to try and behave more like “normal” children.

Neurobigotry against anyone who deviates from the “norm” is all too common. Too many suffer from being shamed and bullied for their differences. It is wrong to make a person feel bad for being themselves.

I have been having some very enlightening conversations via private messages with other Autistic Adults. It seems that many have suffered in silence for many years over the non-acceptance that they suffered while growing up. Many suffered at the hands of parents, carers, teachers, bullies, etc. and have not spoken out about this because of social pressure to show respect to authority figures.

It is time for this silence to end. It is time for you to know that you are NOT alone. Many of us have stories that we have kept locked away. Please know that you are not alone. I know this from some people sharing openly and others sharing privately. It is good to know that you are not alone and you are not wrong for being yourselves. It is time for Autistic people to come out and say that enough is enough. We will be silent about our abusers no longer. We are Autistic and we are proud to be ourselves.

I feel that this quote is very empowering for anyone who has been afraid to tell their story for whatever reason.

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.” – Anne Lamott

If anyone would like to send me stories to share here anonymously, they can PM me and I will share their stories. without naming them.

I repeat, you are not alone.  There are many just like you out there. 

Categories: Abuse Stories, Autism | Tags: , , , , , , | 17 Comments

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