Posts Tagged With: Judgment

Judgment and Oppression vs Love and Acceptance

Yesterday, a family member called to wish our son a Happy Birthday. As far as I can tell, that part of the phone call went well. However, after the phone was handed back to me an old familiar thing happened. I was told how I needed to do something differently than I am. I was subjected to the same old disapproval that I have been suffering from my whole life. I was given unwanted/unrequested criticism, correction and advice.

I have lived with shaming and disapproval for my “different” behavior my entire life. I am a mess of mental and emotional wounds and scars. This is the legacy of a childhood of being constantly shamed and punished for being an undiagnosed Autistic, an atypical undiagnosed child.

Unwanted “advice” always takes away my comfort. It is like ripping open an old wound or sticking a knife into one of them. Despite the clear boundaries that I have tried to put in place, this “loved one” once again triggered feelings of never being “good enough” for them. There I was enjoying my son’s birthday and bam! here comes anxiety from disapproval and oppression by a loved one.

I don’t want or need constant criticism, correction and disapproval from a “loved one” who spent so much time hurting me as they tried to make me more “normal.” I am really so done with putting up with that kind of treatment. Somehow, they even try to turn this around and make it a matter of my need to “forgive” them. I really don’t understand how someone who has treated me wrongly can demand that I “forgive all” without ever actually apologizing for this continuing emotional manipulation and abuse.

I am trying very hard to reduce the stress and anxiety in my life. This person never fails to induce bad feelings, anxiety and stress with their never-ending criticisms and disapproval. I really feel like I am under attack. I need to avoid this toxic oppression of my self-confidence and self-esteem.

I used to share “Don’t judge me” memes but now I think that we need some new memes that say “Don’t oppress me!”

I want unconditional love and acceptance. I don’t want constant criticism, emotional manipulation, and abuse. Is that so hard? I think that many Autistic people will agree with me on this. Love and Acceptance is what we need.

Advertisements
Categories: Abuse Stories, Autism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Blog at WordPress.com.

Everyday Aspie

Relationships through the eyes of an autistic

The Vaccine Blog

Karen Ernst

Walkin' on the edge

Acceptance, inclusion, and the day to day journey of a family and their Autistic Child in the Neuro-typical (NT) world.

Naked Security

Computer Security News, Advice and Research

Rock the Gear

All the Gear, Every Time You Ride

autisticality

Writer, knitter, 22-year-old autistic nonbinary human.

Echoes of Mermaids

* A Life Lived Through an Autistic Lens on a playground of colliding worlds

Roses are Red for Autism

Life is beautiful the autistic way

Psychopath Resistance

Learn how to recognize them. Then you can resist them.

PWN-USA

Positive Women's Network - United States of America

After Narcissistic Abuse

There is Light, Life & Love

Hawai'i Forward

Progressive Hawai'i

Dancing in the OR

Life and Love in the Trauma Unit

hope for autistics

Creating blessed opportunities for autistics

Dr. Craig Childress: Attachment Based "Parental Alienation" (AB-PA)

A Scientifically Based Model of "Parental Alienation"

Proudly Sensitive

Past and Passages of a Sensitive Boy

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

The Neurotropes Blog

An Autistic Dad Sharing Aloha and Advocating for a Better, More Accepting World for my Son and Autistics Everywhere.

The Invisible Scar

raising awareness of emotional child abuse, its effects on adult survivors & the power of words on children

Your Lighter Side

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Gluten-Free, Sugar-Free, Low-Carb, Atkins, Diabetic, Ketogenic Healthy Eating

modifiedmom.com

the adventures of a MAD mom

Light It Up True

Shining light on the truth about autism

Apollina 64/10

Rasmussen's Encephalitis from a Patient's Point-of-View

dkmnow

David K. March And The Sociopolitical Blog Of Doom

Poor as Folk

A resource for people who need to feed themselves and live with little money. Also examining the political & social climate regarding poverty and hunger

Eccentricities and Introspection

An Autistic Dad Sharing Aloha and Advocating for a Better, More Accepting World for my Son and Autistics Everywhere.

tomplastow

Social commentary blog from a Libertarian Socialist.

Aspergers: Through My Eyes

An honest account of my life on the spectrum!

Lovingthebigisland's Weblog

Putting the Magic of Hawaii at Your Fingertips...

Everyday Asperger's

Life through the eyes of a female with Aspergers

My Search for a Diagnosis

Aspe writer sharing his thoughts

S.R. Salas

An Autistic Dad Sharing Aloha and Advocating for a Better, More Accepting World for my Son and Autistics Everywhere.

An Autistic Dad Sharing Aloha and Advocating for a Better, More Accepting World for my Son and Autistics Everywhere.

...autisticook

Because life is in the details

Blogging Astrid

A Dutch Woman Blogs in English

The Caffeinated Autistic

Neurodivergence, queer things, and fandom